Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
