Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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