so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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