She said her name was "party"
he fucked my hip out of place.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
