whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
