I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
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just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
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The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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