she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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