what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
