so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
