new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
