Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
