dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
