also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
