Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
