He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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