So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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