the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
