Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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