so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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