I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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