Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize