My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
