Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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