you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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