boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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