took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
