ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
