margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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