i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
