you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
