after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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