allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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