Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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