she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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