...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
