idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
