.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
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Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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