When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
