I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize