That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Randomize
