thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
