stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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