careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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