i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
