He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I am one with the molecules
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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