We're facebook friends in real life
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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