TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
