Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?

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(630): View more from Illinois

I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me

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(812): View more from Indiana

At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote

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(305): View more from Florida

If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.

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(812): View more from Indiana

I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night

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