hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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