I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize