this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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