My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
