Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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