Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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