Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Ambien. No doubt about it.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
