Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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