worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
