Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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