What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I think I just sharted jello shots
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