did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
