I feel like I'm in dance class right now
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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