So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
