the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
