bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
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